What's under the ice?

I haven't had a lot of time to sit and think about what to write in this little blog of mine.  When I do have time,  that is when I want to shut my brain off.  I've recieved so much information regarding Fairbanks, the state of Alaska, gold mining, the pipeline, etc....it's like the saying about drinking from a fire hose. The top of my head feels like it's blown off and there is no more room!

I did have a thought though, while "break up" was happening, and the snow was melting and revealing all kinds of things that had been hidden all winter. I believe the snow started falling in October last year, and has pretty much dissapated in the last two weeks. 

I  thought of myself as the ground under the snow, underneath layers of propriety, smiles, appropriate clothing and attitudes, the right words to say to the right people....but underneath, am I cold? Unwilling to absorb any warmth from the One who created me? Am I who I am because of what people expect of me? What happens when the snow melts and all the garbage that has been hiding for a long amount of time is exposed?

In Fairbanks, they have set aside a specific day in May, where people in the community come together and "clean up".  The poor thawing ground can't clean itself...but others can help! When I feel I'm at a place where I'm helpless to change....there is hope. Others can help! 

Am I willing to allow people see the real me, the messy me? Or have I clung to my cold exterior, hoping that part of me will never be brought to Light?

Things to ponder...I want to melt....this summer..

Anatomy of a Bruise

“A bruise (medically referred to as a contusion) is caused when tiny blood vessels are damaged or broken as the result of a blow to the skin (be it bumping against something or hitting yourself with a hammer). The raised area of a bump or bruise results from blood leaking from these injured blood vessels into the tissues as well as from the body's response to the injury. A purplish, flat bruise that occurs when blood leaks out into the top layers of skin is referred to as an ecchymosis” (http://www.medicinenet.com/bruises/article.htm).

The day before I turned 45, I counted the bruises on my body.  No less than 26 that I could see.  I have received most of those since started training to drive a motor coach.  I’ve fallen down on ice, knocked traffic cones into my ankles while unloading them, and bumped my shins on the coach steps, run into interior parts of the coach with my thighs and calves.  And my hands and arms have been bashed when hitting tires with a hex bar, and checking between the duals.  A few have been caused by Jeff playfully poking me in the arm.

 They say that as one ages, the more prone to bruising he or she becomes, because of aging capillaries, and thinning skin.  It doesn’t look like my “fatty layer’ has changed…it’s still alive and well….

Oh well, I guess bruising is a fact of life with me.  It will continue to be as I age.  At least they are physical bruises, from “sticks and stones”…I haven’t received any to the heart.

“A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Almost two weeks in...

Things that are different up here in Alaskan Interior...

1. Slower pace of life.
2. Dry cabins- housing that has no city water supply.  Therefore one needs to get their water at....
3. fresh water springs.
4. Brightest time of the day is  between 6:00 and 8:00 p.m..  My favorite!
5. Ice sculptures in yards and businesses.
6. "Break Up" which is the time of year when the ice on the Chena River melts, along with the snow and causes icky puddles, everywhere!!!! But!  I saw green grass today! 

Things that are the same..
1. Kids.
2.Espresso stands...although I did see a drive thru Thai food stand yesterday
3. Fred Meyer, Safeway, Wal-Mart, Barnes & Noble, Game Stop
4. Potholes and policemen
5. Flip flops displayed before the snow melts.

And to use the terminology of my dear friends, Scott and Mary Segalla, I have learned to "Adapt and Overcome"...these are things I have discovered..
1. A flashlight works just as well as a reading lamp.
2. One small electric blanket works fine as a top cover while sleeping.
3. 2 dishtowels, 1 dish rag, 5 forks, 1 spoon, 4 plastic glasses, 1 sheet, 1 pot...less than $15 at Value Village.
4. Babysitting can result in furniture.
5. One can decorate a room with sticky notes and love notes from home.
6. Paper towels from care package packing can be used to check oil on a motor coach.
7. It works fine to filter coffee grounds through a paper towel.
8. One can cut an onion and smash garlic with a large spoon and cut bacon with a fork.
9. A grocery bag doubles great as a plug for the bathtub.
10. If you turn up the volume on your mp3 player, your ears adjust, and you can hear it fine through the headphones laying on the floor next to you.
11. One can go more than one day without Internet access and still survive.
12. You can dry wet shoes in an oven that's been slightly heated, then turned off.  Only takes a couple of hours.  It works for socks too.
13. A grocery bag works well as a garbage can, hung from the toilet paper roll bar.
14. Internet access can be found in various places, like friends homes, Barnes and Noble, and the library.

I have learned to simplify, and use the resource I have. And it's been great! I wonder if it will stick when I come home in 5 months.  We shall see.

Top 20 Things I have to do in Alaska, according to friends and family

The Sunday before I left, I was thrown a goodbye party by dear friends.  I had them write down something they thought I needed to do on my Alaskan adventure, and I told them to write their names down next to the idea.  Some of them had problems following that direction.

 1. Climb a tree (and have someone take a picture of you in it). Lydia
2. Say " hi" to a bear for me.
3. See a polar bear outside of a cage.
4. Say hi to a wolf.
5. Play "Hey Cow" with any group of animals you want. Jordan Padula
6. Catch a salmon with your bare hands. Jacob
7. Take a picture of your favorite road sign (the favorite road you drive on).
8. Make a snowman. Nessa
9. Hug a carabou. Pottsy
10. The "Hunger Games" series and let Rachel, Caitlyn and Robbie know what you think.
11. Go to a bar with Jonah. Jonah
12. Send your children at home a care package via snail mail.
13. Have a foreign accent for an entire bus trip. Daniel Amado
14. Count the number of moose you see.
15. Eat a moose steak.
16. Have an Alaskan Crab feast.
17. I second what Josh said. Amy
18. Slide dow a hill on your tummy. Tyler
19. Polar Bear Plunge
20. Have fun with Rick. Rick

Now, it's obvious some of these are going to be easier than others.  But I will do my best, and document everything with proof that it was done.I just won't be able to say who it's in honor of, for those of you who ommitted your name!!! And the moose count....0.
 Here we go!

But why?

When it began to sink in, that I was actually going to leave my family, my friends, my house, my garden, my dog, my kitchen, my bed....etc..I felt something akin to panic! Cold feet, alarm, fear...and then, I moved toward confidence and security in knowing that this was what God had in store for me.

I have never lived alone. Never been in a situation where all I have to worry about is me, and my job. I've at no time lived without family surrounding me.
I'm looking forward to being alone. I know it will get old, and I'll be a puddle of tears at times. And, I will be busy as well, working potentially 60 hours a week or more. (My friend, Jeff, told me he's working on making a hammock for the coach, so I can get a nap in here and there!)

I'm going to read my Bible, journal, take pictures, go for walks, and get to know  and love my Alaska friends more! And in the process, maybe discover myself. Not how I think my family, or my friends, or anyone else should see me, but who my Creator fashioned me to be.  I am in the process of "becoming"...and I'm delighted to see where I will be at the end of my adventure.

At my "going away party", as I was surrounded by loved ones, I was reminded that this experience won't be just about me.  I will have the ability and opportunity to affect those around me, for good or for bad.  I'm praying it will be for good. 

"Lil'" Lydia gave me a journal with this fantastic quote...I will end with this..

           "A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future.

You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and unknown."

-Denis Waitley

Looking back at January...

January 7, I received the call from HAP Alaska, offering me the position of Driver Guide. That night I attacked my husband and demanded he give me everything he had in his possession regarding driving in Alaska.  He gave me the materials he had, and like an overachieving student, I went right to work and started studying.

One could find me in the car, waiting to pick up Jonah from school, or at the plasma center, furiously writing notes about the history of Fairbanks or the pre-trip checklist. Then, my dear husband downloaded the Alaska Drivers Manual, and the Commercial Drivers License, and I had new reading material!  During my studying, I came across several nuggets of wisdom, which I will share with you now. Hanging meat...can be a very unstable load...livestock can move around in a trailer...

o        If your vehicle is on fire, don't pull into a service station.

o        A nap can save your life or the lives of others.

o        You can't avoid striking or being struck by something which you can't see.

o        Drowsiness is the first step in falling asleep.

 I also learned about “wig wag” warnings…but that’s a whole thing in itself, which I won’t go into at this time.

I found some quotes those early days in January, that were very applicable to what I was feeling inside..  I posted them on facebook, and some people replied with interesting responses.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”
Helen Keller

I have no words...for once in my life,...so..I'll sleep on it.    January 7 at 1:12pm  Jeff Powell and Denise Hirschel like this.

• ·          Elizabeth Andrews Williams If you're dreaming now, that must be worth at least 1,000 words!
• ·          Jeff Powell You could start with the words of the safety speech
• ·          Beth Anne Taylor ugh...and so it begins....no....really....I'm excited!

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide

Adventure is calling....

How did this even come about?

Rick was hired by Holland America as a driver guide in the summer of 2008.  He spent June through September based in Fairbanks, AK, and was then hired to train drivers here in the Inland Northwest. At that point in time, I had no desire to even visit Alaska. My brother studied it in kindergarten.  I knew Forget Me Nots were the state flower, and that was enough for me.
Rick trained January through April, 2009, and drove up for the summer again. So, I decided to bite the bullet and go up for a few days in June to visit.  The Alaskan Interior was nothing like I expected! I fell in love, and ended up flying up in August to drive down with Rick. Driving down the ALCAN (Alaska-Canada Highway) I decided I was going to come back. We dreamed about the possibilities of both coming up the next summer, and driving, but at that time I was helping Mom take care of Dad, and working at Valley Christian, so there was the issue of training, how and when, etc.
Rick ended up training drivers in Fairbanks the following year.  He left in February, and I went up for spring break for a visit, and then again in July, to surprise him and to celebrate me getting my Bachelors Degree. Again, I was struck by the beauty and the simplicity, and was determined to one day get my CDL and drive for a summer.
In the fall of 2010, I left Valley Christian, and spent three special months with my Mom and Dad. When Dad went to be with the Lord in December, there was a tug in my spirit that said..."You can go now!" I didn't pay attention until later in the month, when a friend mentioned the same thing.
What?  Really?  Could I?  Should I?
Rick and I talked, and I decided to apply for the position of Driver Guide. And see what happened.  I prayed a lot during the waiting process, and when they offered me the position, I knew it was what I was supposed to do.
Not only to help financially, but also to have kind of a sabbatical...to learn about depending on God, and no one else...to discover what direction I should take next...to take time to grieve...
So here is a middle aged woman, who had no desire to step foot in Alaska...going on the ultimate adventure. I
I will be there in nine days...bring it on.